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Well, I finally succumbed and bought myself a webcam! So, I can now actually record video messages for you guys, just in case there’s anything I want to ramble about on film 
But, I should just let me speak for myself, really…
I didn’t get to sleep until 2am last night (or is that this morning). Why? Because I couldn’t turn my brain off! It was full of ideas, plans - exciting stuff. And, just like a kid on Christmas eve, I was too excited to sleep.
As I’ve probably mentioned before, I’m a teacher, and I’m passionate about reading and learning. As much as I love my job, my dream is to run my own business, work from home, and be able to spend the time to grow my garden, cook good food, build a harmonious home and spend time with those I love. So, I’ve embarked on a self-guided education about how to do this. It’s very exciting stuff! And I have a lot of ideas that I want to capture and implement - to the point of scribbling down ideas in the dark
On top of that I have… a full-time job; am going to start a Saturday science communicator job for six weeks next school term, (and the one after); I’m learning the cello; go to the gym almost every day; have a family and friends to talk to… in short, I have a very busy life, like I’m sure all of you do. Nick’s still in the UK at the moment, and I joked to him tonight that I’ve gotten used to life without him - I’ll have to find some time in my day to squeeze him in!! Now, of course I say that in jest, but there’s an element of truth in there, as well.
It’s so easy to get caught up being busy - even if it’s productive busy - and then burn out. I got sick last week, and I think the main reason was a lack of sleep - too many late nights on the computer! At least when Nick gets home he’ll be able to roll over and say “Oi! Enough of that now”
I like learning, growing, planning, doing… I’m a happier person at this point in my life than ever before because I’m doing things I’ve put off for years. But it’s important to take a step back once in a while and make sure I’m not neglecting the need for relaxation and peace that every mind and body needs.
I find deep breathing and breath-focussed meditation helps me to do this - when I remember to fit it into my day! How do you stay balanced?
I was lucky enough to do most of my growing up in the country. Now, by country I don’t mean way out there - but we always had a good couple of acres for me to scarper about on. One thing that tends to happen if you have property like ours, which has a lot of wattle trees, is that you end up with a few dead trees around the place. Now, my parents have a fireplace, and they use a lot of the wood to warm their home in winter - but there is always too much, plus a lot of scraggly bits lying around.
So, once in a while we would have a bonfire. Over time, they’ve occurred more regularly, and we tend to have at least one each winter now. I was visiting my parent’s last night, and as Dad and I finished working on my slowly-coming-together bookshelves for the afternoon (well, mostly Dad working and me turning the garage vacuum on and off as he sawed wood with his circular saw… not to mention the escapade with the radius - I know that makes absolutely no sense - now where was I? Oh yes As Dad finished working on my bookshelves, we noticed a noise, and a light. Mum had started a bonfire up the back.
So, we ambled up to enjoy the fire. After a minute, I ran down to the house to grab my camera. As you may have guessed by now, I’m a bit fond of photography, and you’ll no doubt see much more of it in future. This was a scene not to be missed, as the fire burned in the quickly dimming evening. But, as they say, a picture tells a thousand words…
Fire truly is an amazing thing. Its discovery propelled us out of the realms of mere animals, and harnessing its power has enriched and supported our lives for millennia. I think everyone should take the time, once in a while, to just sit staring into a fire - it’s certainly a good tool for meditation, and for realising the transitory and transformational nature of everything. What was solid becomes dust and vapour, and both go to play their next role in the symphony of nature.
A lovely example of the First Law of Thermodynamics - ‘Energy is never created or destroyed, just transformed to another state’.
I have spent a lot of my life interested in religion, spirituality, science… basically, I was always fascinated by the world, and I wanted to know how it all worked. I’m a scientist by nature - I won’t believe what you tell me unless 1. I trust you deeply, and 2. You can prove it to me. Empirically.
Therefore, though I have learnt a lot about religion, and find it a fascinating topic, I remain an atheist. In some ways, I believe that those of us who are not religious have the most investment of all in preserving this Earth that we live on. Why? Because we believe this is all there is. There is no other life, no other world. This world - in all its beauty, terror, pain and glory - is all we have to experience. And we only have one life in which to do so.
I wanted to draw your attention to an article written by Lawrence Krauss in NewScientist (It’s a wonderful cosmos…). He argues against the claim that we need to imbue the universe with some supernatural agency in order for it to be meaningful and magnificent. This article really moved me, as he elucidated my view of the world beautifully.
Some of the most amazing experiences in my life have occurred sitting in a lecture theatre, learning about how our fascinating bodies have evolved, and how they function. How the intricate dance of our genes, proteins, hormones, and other chemical messengers keeps us growing, learning, and alive.
And who hasn’t had that experience of awe when looking up into the night sky and really seeing what is out there - the billions of stars in billions of galaxies - the overwhelming size and complexity of it all, in which we play such a minuscule part. And yes, in the grand scheme of the universe we are but a momentary blip, perhaps utterly meaningless..
But I believe we create our own meaning. We have but one, unique, and fragile life in which to express ourselves, to make our contribution to the world and to the generations to come. That is why I want to live more in harmony with nature, to do my little part to preserve this amazing planet, and to encourage others to do the same. If we all do our own small part - whenever and however we can - those little parts will come together like snowflakes and create an avalanche that could change the world.
I don’t think I’ve mentioned what I do to earn a dollar here before. I’m actually a trained primary school teacher, although I currently work as a manager/teacher in a non-school setting. Before that I spent a few years getting a Science/Arts dual degree - so my own education has been long and rewarding.
As I was sitting with a student of mine tonight - a gorgeous little year 1 girl - it hit me how I take for granted my ability to read and understand. She is becoming quite a good little reader, learning how to sound out new words really well, but it still takes her time with each new word. I think, as adults, we forget how hard we worked as children to learn all the skills - like reading - that we now employ without giving a moment’s thought to the process. Books and reading and learning are such a big part of my life that it’s hard to think of any time in my existence when that wasn’t so.
I know my parents read to me from a very young age, and I was always eager to read along - to learn how to do it myself: this magic de-coding of marks on a page! But I also know that there was a barely-remembered time in my life - I think of it as the ‘golden time’ because so many of those memories are sun-drenched and full of open space - that words on a page were still a little-understood phenomena.
As a blogger, writer, teacher, and avid reader, words have always been a vital part of my life, and the ability to pass on my thoughts and knowledge to others is something I’m enjoying more and more as I grow in myself.
I think that has something to do with why I started writing this blog - and why I chose the topic I did. And thankfully, talking to all of you about trying my best to live sustainably - and thinking about what I want to say about this very important topic - helps me in my own journey to learn more and be aware of what I do every day.
A good, rounded, diverse education is the greatest gift we can ever be given - and I’m a firm believer in teaching how to learn, not what to learn. As I tell the parents of my students when they worry that their son is only reading motorcycle magazines, or their daughter will only pick up fairy books - “the important thing is that they’re reading, and that they enjoy it!” It’s the process that matters - if they can apply that process whenever they need it, they’ll be alright.
So, to conclude, I’m sending a big thank-you out into cyberspace to all the people who taught me - and especially those who taught me how to learn, not just what to learn.
Yes, it is a weird name for a cat… unless you have come across the book Gobbolino the Witch’s Cat (Kingfisher Classics)
I thought I should introduce him, as he has been and will be mentioned here from time to time. And so, here is my cat - variously known as Gob, Gobby, Goblin, Goblitino - ( I could go on but it would probably get embarrassing…) in one of his favourite spots on the balcony. And in one of his most *ahem* dignified poses.
He is currently snuggled up to me on the bed, making it rather awkward to type; but any of you who have a cat will know the dilemma - awww, he’s so sleepy and cute, how can I disturb him?
Ah, the sacrifices we make for our pets
But, seriously, my cat has brought happiness and entertainment into my life more times than I can count. There is just some need in us humans to have these animal companions, a warm little creature who depends on us for food, shelter, love and attention. It’s nice to know that whatever else is happening - especially in our relationships with other human beings - that there is always that little trusting critter at home ready to sit on your lap or wag its tail.
Last weekend I went and visited my parents. In the evening, when I felt some reading was in order, I decided once again to peruse their bookshelves. It still amazes me that even though I spent 20 years of my life living with them, and still visit frequently, I still manage to find old books that I swear I have never seen before!
I have, in fact, inherited my parents’ love of reading, and have always been a devourer of books. Most of mine are still in boxes after my last move, and I can’t wait until my Dad has finished building me two big bookcases that he’s been working on for a while now.
So, back to the story - I came across a tattered old edition of ‘The Conquest of Happiness’ by Bertrand Russell.
Now, I’ve studied a bit of philosophy, but I’ve never actually read any Bertie before. What a loss!
It is a pretty short book, and I made quick work of it, but I think I’ll be re-reading it in the not to distant future. His approach to happiness, and the lack thereof, is refreshingly down to earth and appealing.
The first half of the book analyses the causes for unhappiness in the modern, middle-class Western world, and the second half gives solutions - the things that will bring us true happiness. Now, it was written back in the 30’s, so some of it seems a little dated, but overall, it’s a fascinating read. What appealed to me the most was the idea that we are responsible for our feelings - that we can choose to engage ourselves in the kind of life that will bring us happiness - something that I’m sure many of you on the same path as me believe already.
It’s always lovely to come across a find like this… there’s nothing like a good, life-enhancing book.
While visiting my parents this weekend, my mother and I got into our usual conversation about the garden. Often it begins with me wandering around seeing what plants I’d like to steal, and commenting on how good the zucchinis/orange tree/nasturtiums etc are going.
My mum’s reply is always the same “there’s never enough time - I can’t wait until I’m retired so I can spend all day out in the garden…”. Now, compared to mine, my mum’s garden is fantastic - multiple permaculture mandala gardens, a chicken dome, fruit trees, not to mention the ornamental gardens and forest that sprawl over their six and a half acre property; however, I can relate to her frustrations.
I have all these ideas and dreams of how I’d like the garden to be - especially when I have a ‘proper’ garden - you know, in the actual ground and all that - but that the reality never quite meshes with the fantasy. In some cases this is a lovely thing, like the addition of random plants that I find/borrow around the place ( I find it nearly impossible to leave a nursery without a new plant - I’m sure many of you can relate!), but often, it is a source of frustration.
For example, this weekend I intended to plant out the poor tomato plants that have been languishing in too-small pots for too long - but given that I had my cello lesson on Saturday, a visit to the gym, went to my parent’s till Sunday, and another visit to the gym, I have run out of time/opportunity. Now, I had set aside time Sunday afternoon to do my gardening - but of course it has been raining and blowing a gale! Rain, of course, is a wonderful thing, but it has nevertheless left me heaving a sigh of resignation that ‘there’s a job to be put off to another day!’
But, honestly, isn’t this how so much of our life goes? So many things to accomplish, so little time to get it all done! I guess the best we can do is just do what we can, when we can, and not let that stop us from dreaming of what could be, if we only found the time.
